How to Get the Most Out of Therapy
Starting therapy can be both exciting and daunting. You may feel hope that you’ve found someone who gets you and can help you. And you may also worry about how to do therapy the “right way”.
First off, I’m not here to tell you the right way to do therapy, because each person’s healing journey is unique. But I can share some overall tips that may help you get the most out of therapy, including before, during, and after sessions. Whether you are working with me or someone else, I want you to receive what you need. (You can read more about how to find a therapist that is a good fit for you here.)
6 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Therapy
Speaking as a therapist and a client, here are my best tips on how to get the most out of therapy.
Be Honest: You have nothing to lose by being honest. The counselor works under strict client-therapist confidentiality laws to keep everything you discuss completely private (unless you are a danger to yourself or others). Tell them about yourself and be as open as you can about your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. A skilled therapist isn’t going to judge you but is there to guide you to greater clarity and mastery of your goals.
Identify Personal Goals & Do Regular Progress Check-ins: Know what goals you’d like to work on in counseling. While therapists’ specialties vary, your goals can include any of the following areas: emotional, relational, behavioral, health, career, or work. Identifying your goals will help you focus on what you most want to talk about in your sessions. It will also help you talk about progress toward your goals as you move forward.
Start & Bring a Therapy Journal: You may want to take notes during the session. Instead of trying to remember everything you talk about in session, it can help to write down what’s most important and resonant for you. This can include anything from insight, wisdom, tools to try, and questions to reflect on. You may also want to journal before or after your therapy session, so it’s great to designate a private space for this ahead of time. (If you’d like some ideas on specific journal prompts for therapy sessions, I’ll share my favorites below).
Give Your Therapist Feedback: Share what is working and not working with your therapist. It can be hard to speak up, but so helpful to receive feedback from clients on both what is helpful and what isn’t working for you. Again, a skilled therapist won’t get defensive but will be open to feedback. This is also great practice for asking for what you need outside of the session.
Create Boundaries Around Therapy: You don’t have to share what you talk about in sessions with anyone. It’s your choice what to keep private and what to share. With this in mind, you may need to create boundaries with others on whether or not you share details from sessions. Boundaries can also help you create space to attend therapy sessions regularly, reflect on your progress outside of sessions, and practice what you are learning. (You can learn more about healthy boundary setting here).
Think of the Therapy Relationship as Collaborative: I can’t speak for other therapists but most therapists don’t give a lot of advice. They help you access the answers, healing, and resources within you. In this way, it can be helpful to not think of therapy as solely a place to get advice, but as a place to reconnect with yourself and what you need. Your therapist is in collaboration with you toward your goals by sharing their perspective and helping you access the healing potential within you.
Journal Prompts for Therapy Sessions
If you have trouble deciding what you want to talk about in a session, it can help to journal before your therapy sessions. You can use your journal to mind dump, reflect, or remember questions you have. Or, if you’d love to try some journal prompts before your therapy sessions, here are a few I recommend:
What’s been going well?
What’s not going well?
What do you want to grow?
What would feel most helpful (or satisfying) to focus on in your next session?
And if you still don’t know what to focus on, this is good feedback for your therapist. Together, you can decide what direction to go or check in about overall progress toward your personal goals.
Overcoming Perfectionism in Therapy
While there may be a part of you that worries about doing therapy wrong. Let me reassure you that you don’t need to be perfect to get something out of therapy. And you don’t need to be perfect to grow and heal.
You can bring all parts of you to therapy, and go at a pace that feels good to you. And hopefully, even the part of you that thinks you need to be perfect can get something out of therapy too, so you don’t have to work so hard inside.
I look forward to hearing your perspective. And hope one of these tips or prompts has helped you find clarity on what can help you deepen your experience of working with a therapist.
When you’ve gone to therapy, what has helped you get the most out of therapy? Or, what has helped you find an easeful pace?
Marci Payne, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor in Missouri
Marci specializes in helping adults find freedom and healing from people-pleasing perfectionism and toxic relationships. You can learn more about Individual Therapy for adults in Kansas City Missouri here.